The death of a friends child

How do you handle such a moment… Grief is not sadness for sadness’s sake rather it is all the unexpressed love we will never be able to share with that person. we never get enough time.

Initially I wrote this in 2021… I never shared it with the family as it is an outsiders view

A note to my friends and myself, 

I look in from the outside but I look with the heart of a father.

Sometimes the world is incredibly rich and full of colour, you can practically taste life. You wake up the day is normal and then sometimes somehow it all comes crashing down around you.

You have lost a friend, a son someone you loved and gave life to.

The world that seemed so rich and full of wonder and colour and flavour has just turned gray lifeless and monochrome,

All the hopes and dreams they had are gone there will be no new memories only the ones that were created in times now gone will stand the test of time.

It is not however the end of life or even of joy for there are joyful moment still to come, life still to live and moments to be embraced. None of this is anything new for us to comprehend but rather a truth to rediscover.

Life will always be what we make of it and the lense we choose to look at it through.  

When we invest love in the people around us it reflects back to us in the colours and the way we and they see the world.

We capture a little of the wonder and beauty of things through their eyes.

The way they see sunsets and sunrises, the passion they have for the indoors and the outdoors and crazy things, their sense of humour. 

Invest in the adventures ahead live for the moment and in the moment and in the moment to come for the past we will always have.

When we lose a person we lose the reflection of the love we gave and the world seems for a time a little grayer and tastes a little more bitter.

Wisdom and experience teach us that these love investments and loss’s give us the capacity to learn and love more deeply in the future.

We realise the value of the things we hold sometimes so lightly only when they are lost.

Treasure the beauty of your wife now, treasure the love of your children now,

Thank God that he allowed you to wake up today and life is still normal because for some people it is not and will not be the same….

Who do we become when we lose someone we love? The story of Val Kimer and seeing the impact that his father had when he lost his son, 

Grief can be a noble emotion as it is all the unexpressed love that we can never give to that person, the fact that we grieve much means that the capacity for great love lives in our heart, if it has done it can do so again and we must endure the storm of grief and sail through to cherish and love the ones we still have.

At the end of life the only thing we keep are the memories we have and the relationships we grew.

I think it is hard not to be changed by the experience but do we let the experience take something from us or do we channel it to become something more…?